Sunday, April 10, 2011

To pee, or not to pee?

The first two cycles (ivf then fet) for Kiwi, I never did POAS. I was too scared of getting a BFN!!! This time, I told myself that I was going to do it. I wanted the memory to keep. (Wither the actual stick, or a pic of it.)

However, as Weds. beta rapidly approaches, I am questioning if I am going to do it. I am all nerves. Butterflies in the tummy and all. I'm way too scared for a BFN. G is scared too. He said that he thinks we shouldn't POAS. (He is that scared about it.)

I have one part of me wanting to do it bc G will not be with me when I get the call on Weds after the beta. I will be spending the day with my parents, while G works, and probably won't be heading home until late evening. Which I think would be best anyway. I don't want to be driving when the news comes in, nor do I want to be sitting at home alone either. (Especially if the news is bad.)

Way too nervous!!!!! I haven't felt any symptoms. Which has me freaking out. I guess I do have a very heightened sense of smell lately, but honestly, I had that after the ER and prior to ET. I've been really bitchy lately. That has me worried that AF might be coming. Then again, I remember that G and I had a huge blow out fight on beta day last time, with Kiwi. So, maybe bitchy is good. LOL.

I want Weds. to get here sooner, but then I don't......bc I am scared that I'll hear the awful words again, BFN.

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