Sunday, December 27, 2015
I'm a pretty patient person, but this waiting is killing me. LOL. IFs (4th potential) ED had that false positive a few months back now...she's retested 3 times since then (RE protocol) and every time it has came back negative. Which is a good then. So, I believe that she will be medically cleared to be IFs donor. (Haven't heard the official word yet.)My IFs went into the RE a few weeks ago to have their genetic testing done...so now we are waiting for those results to come back in. (I'm not sure why they didn't do the testing before hand, while they looked for a donor, etc.) I'm supposed to get a call from the RE after all results are in...so she can discuss the situation regarding the false positive with G and I. (Let us know if we have anything to be concerned about.)Prior to the bloodwork being done again, the nurse had quoted a med start time frame of end of January into February. Since the ED labs came back sooner than expected, I'm hoping we can start the cycle meds in the beginning of January. But, that all depends on IFs genetic test results coming back.So, we continue to wait.
Friday, November 20, 2015
So, after taking over two weeks to get the labs back in....the results are finally here and we don't have any progress :( The RE tested ED's blood for diseases, etc and there is one big group panel, and then each thing tested in the group panel also has it's own individual test too. Well, the group panel came back that she was positive for something.....BUT each individual test came back negative. So, the RE says it was a false positive on the group panel. Which means that ED will have to retest!! From personally speaking to my IFs I learned that the RE was confident that she will pass testing and feelings that she is the ED from them, they will have to just sign paperwork saying that the ED is known to them (like if she were family or a friend) because the clinic won't move forward with an agency (unknown) ED if there is a false positive. Since my IFs have skyped with ED, they technically do "know" each other...so they have no problem signing that paperwork. ED is out of the country traveling right now and will return by mid December. Which pushed everything back an additional month, hence no progress. If she gets back and tests again mid December and it takes another 2 weeks, then we'll be in January by the time results come in for her to get med clearance. So, if all goes well and she gets med cleared, looking like a February or March transfer likely. However, there was no mention again of having to monitor two months of menstrual cycles....so, if they are still thinking of doing that, it could push transfer back a few more months. I called my IFs yesterday because I have a cruise, that I paid for in April of 2015, set for April of 2017. It is still so far away, but, it does mean that I would need a transfer before May of 2016....so I'd have at least 2 months postpartum before my cruise. That added even more pressure....hopefully this ED will pass and we'll be able to get the ball on the road for a January or February transfer....and hopefully that transfers works and results in a pregnancy and healthy birth :)
Wednesday, November 4, 2015
Hi all :) So, the ED got into the RE this past Monday for her med screening. YAY!! I heard from my SCM that the RE and staff loved her...however, there was one concern. ED has been on BCPs (birth control pills) for 10 consecutive years. This fact concerns the RE. We are still waiting for the lab work to come back...so this is all circumstantial. However, the RE may suggest that ED has two (monthly) cycles monitored, to make sure everything is working as it should...before even starting the process of the egg retrieval cycle. Not the news we wanted to hear...as transfer could potentially be pushed back past January. I'll keep you posted.
Monday, October 26, 2015
Hi all, I had a great weekend. My parents surprised the kids and I (G is out of state for work again) with a weekend getaway to San Diego. We took the train there (the kids LOVED it!!) Then we went to Sea World and the next day we explored old town San Diego! Great weekend! On Thursday, my IFs text me to let me know that the skype "meet" they had done with a potential ED earlier in the week was a success!! They have matched with her and are hopeful that this one will work out. The RE is reviewing her records now and and she will have her med testing done soon if all goes well. I'm excited, we have some progress!
Tuesday, October 13, 2015
Tuesday, October 6, 2015
I got my final draft of the contract late Friday night. G and I both got ours signed and notarized yesterday!! Our lawyer has our scanned and faxed copies and we are a go from our end!! yay! I text with my IFs last night and they haven't signed yet, but will this week. They are in escrow on a condo! So exciting for them! Hopefully everything goes well and within a year they'll have a baby/ies to fill their new condo up with :) They are still actively looking for an egg donor still. They are supposed to meet with a concierge service this week sometime. That service is supposed to work with 100s of donor agencies all over and should have a list of donors (who are available and match the IFs criteria) w/in two weeks. So, I'm hoping that by the end of October they will have the perfect donor all set up and ready to go. (Or at least ready to get medically cleared.) Fingers crossed. :)
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
I got my first draft of the contracts today! YAY! This contract is way better than the last one with (failed match) IPs. Before I had a novel of notes...this time I have 2/3 of a page. LOL. I think it helps that my IFs choose the lawyer that I had worked with last time...so she knows my thoughts on everything already. PLUS, these IFs are laid back, easy peasy. :)I'm so excited! I reviewed it all tonight and hopefully will hear back from my lawyer tomorrow to set an appt to do my phone consult.
Saturday, September 5, 2015
The day after my last post, I found out from my SCM that the ED the IFs had chosen....the one that was in cycle to have her eggs retrieved for another couple...was not medically cleared by their RE! She was literally just waiting to have her eggs retrieved, and decided to do her med clearance at IFs RE in the meantime. So frustrating that she was obviously cleared to have the ET...but nope! Her pap came back abnormal and her bloodwork showed that one of her levels was not where the RE would like it to be. (I do not know the specifics.)This is the second ED who has been a "known" (or soon to be) donor, then been denied my RE. If I'm frustrated, I can only imagine how my IFs are feeling. Both of these ED were through agencies too! So, back to square one in that area. We are moving ahead with contracts still. I was told yesterday by my IF that they have received their draft and will be taking this weekend to review it. So, I'm hopeful that I'll have the draft this next week!! :)As far as I know, IFs have not found another (4th) ED, but they are "actively looking." I hope the silver lining in all this is that they'll find an amazing donor very soon, and we'll be able to transfer in Sept. or Oct., not having to wait until November anymore.
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
I completed my mock cycle (taking oral estrace and progesterone inserts) and did an endo biopsy at the RE last Wednesday! Today I called my nurse and found out that everything is good, and I have been medically cleared!!!! Yay!! Next step for me and IFs is the contract phase. I'm so super excited!
Monday, July 20, 2015
Yesterday I went into the RE to start my mock cycle. This is the last thing needed for this RE to medically clear me to be IFs GS. I start taking estrace, then progesterone, then I'll have a biopsy done on cd19. (I will have to make two additional trips to the RE.) Hopefully this all goes wonderfully and we'll have clearance w/in the first week or so of August! I did also hear from my SCM that IFs may have found another potential ED (egg donor.) This one just did a donor cycle, so she'll have to wait until Sept./Oct. time to do another cycle. Ideally, if everything came back good with the mock cycle, we could transfer (do ivf) Aug. or Sept. So, this only potentially pushes things back an additional month. It would be great to transfer by October. :)Once I get the med clear from RE, I move into the contract stage with IFs.
Friday, July 10, 2015
I received the lab results from IFs RE.....everything looks good!My vitamin D levels were lower than they'd like to see, so I will start taking supplements of those. I have been given the green light to do the mock cycle/transfer when AF comes this month. I go in on CD2 to start that process. Which should be mid month. YAY!!
Saturday, July 4, 2015
I really like IFs RE clinic :) I called on Tuesday to set my initial consult appt. To my surprise, they were able to get me in the next day! The clinic is in downtown LA, so it's pretty far drive...in traffic. I met with a doctor who went over all my medical history with me, gave me the low down on the process (which I knew) and then started testing. I had a pap done, blood drawn and a another screening test where they insert a catheter, inject solution to inflate the cervix, and then take pics.(I forget the medical name.) I was told that everything looked good. So, we are one step forward!! I call on CD1 and go in CD2 to start my mock transfer/cycle. However, I found out on Tuesday that the egg donor the IFs choose was not approved. :( So, they are back at square one again...looking for a donor. Hopefully they'll find an approved one soon...so we can do transfer as soon as mock cycle and my clearance is done :)
Monday, June 29, 2015
The meeting with our IFs went great! It seemed like we had been talking for less than an hour...when a time checked proved that we had actually been talking nonstop for 2.5 hours! :) Both IFs were very sweet and everything flowed nicely. We exchanged numbers and have become FB friends as well now. Moving on to the next steps in the journey. IFs said that they have found a proven egg donor. (Proven meaning that the donor has already had a donation that went smoothly. She actually just donated recently and a pregnancy occurred.) So, now donor has to be medically cleared by the RE. In the meantime, I am waiting for the RE to set up my consult appt. Then, after that it should be med screening (again) with IFs RE...they also do a mock cycle and mock transfer, which I've never done before. (Those are done on CD2. So, that hopefully will be mid July.)My IFs said that they will be contacting their lawyer, so we can move quickly on the contract after I pass medical screening.So far, everything is moving along smoothly. YAY!
Friday, June 26, 2015
Oh what a glorious thing to wake up to....my facebook feed full of love and the wonderful news that gay marriage is now the law of the land!!!! Legal in all 50 states! What a great day to be alive, in the history of this country! This is amazing news for all Americans! I'm so incredibly happy to know that the marriages of people I love and hold dear, will now be viewed as equal all over this country! I'm thrilled, as a mother, that this is now a law...because it means that my children will have the right to marry whomever they love!!
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
Hello all :) I've learned that my IFs have signed their agency contract! Yay! G and I will be meeting our IFs (intended fathers) in person this Sunday, June 28th. I'm very happy, excited...but also apprehensive bc of how everything went down with my last match.
Friday, June 12, 2015
After being "matched" with a difficult situation for 7 months...it was so hard for me to move on with nothing. (Not even a penny was owed to me!) The agency had faith that they'd be able to quickly match me again...this time with a couple more compatible. It was hard to be back in the "waiting to match game." However, I was informed of a "really great couple" who are very "easy going" and "easy to work with." Sounded like heaven to me :)On May 29th the IP coordinator sent me over the profile of a couple who loved my profile! It is a local same sex couple! On Wednesday, the 10th, we had our match call....and are now officially matched!! They are supposed to be signing their agency contract, then I will have to get medically cleared by their RE doc...then it's on to contract and transfer :) Only catch with them is that they need to locate and screen an egg donor. Wish me luck that this match goes smoothly and quickly! :) I'll keep updating as the process goes along
I am a pretty patient person...however, even the most patient person will have their patience tested from time to time. The next chapter in my surrogacy journey did just that....all because of these particular IPs. Once we officially matched, the IPs needed to sign their own contract with the agency. It took mine several WEEKS to do that!! Not normal! (As I mentioned, they're lawyers.) They wanted to revise the agencies preexisting contract!After waiting nearly a month, the IP coordinator contacted me and offered me the chance to switch to another couple. He sent me another couple's profile. I just felt badly, I am loyal and patient. Although they were lovely, G and I felt we should stick it out with the IPs we matched with...we'll call the T & N. Near the end of January, they finally signed their agency contracts!! Then began my medical screening process with their chosen RE. I made an appt. and had my testing done at the end of January. Everything came back good and I was cleared to be their GS. On the other hand...they hadn't done their testing or started the egg retrieval process. G and I also went and had our mental health screening done...and passed! Everything on our end was done and great!! T & N, on the other hand, seemed to be dragging their feet at every possible turn. (I don't even know how many times I was told "this is not normal" from my SCM.) From my understanding, most IPs come into surrogacy with frozen embryos already...or at least having already had consult and work ups done with their RE. T & N had done nothing prior to approaching surrogacy...and they were taking their time to get all the required testing done. Which included have an ER from N and pgd testing on any embryos that made it to that stage. Although we still didn't even know if they would have good quality eggs/sperm/embryo at all.....we moved ahead into the "contract phase". Essentially this is my legal contract with them. Which required more patience from me...as they took their time to review and find a lawyer to their standards. I chose my lawyer and retained them in the beginning of March. I finally obtained a draft of the contract from their lawyer in the beginning of April. The draft was so not what I ever thought it would be. I had pages upon pages of notes to discuss with my lawyer....who assured me that my thoughts and requested changes were more reasonable and "normal". Their drafted contract was ridiculous, to say the least. They were changing things that they shouldn't...compensation that was already agreed upon between the agency and I, when I joined the agency....also things that we had agreed upon at match and verbally since (as it has been 3.5 months since then at this point already.)I was shocked!My lawyer and I did some changes and submitted that to their lawyer. On April 29th, the IPs submitted another draft to us.....which essentially was the exact same as the original draft! Except this time the had omitted my personal OBGYN (which we had agreed from prior to match call I would use) completely, instead they changed the contract to state that they would choose my OBGYN!! I spoke immediately to my lawyer! Their unwillingness to compromise and the fact that they blatantly were changing pre agreed upon stipulations was not ok with us!! My lawyer responded to them and informed them that I had already made and submitted the changes that I was comfortable with....essentially it was then left up to them to accept the draft we gave them...or the match was off. I spoke often with my SCM and had even had a conference call with her and the owner of the agency. Both of them were in agreement that the match was becoming too hostile and they encouraged me to end it. I was so heartbroken!! As one last resort attempt to mend the relationship with the IPs (as we had been talking and texting since match) and continue the match, I asked the agency owner to contact the IPs and offered to compromise on a "hot topic" of theirs...if they'd agree to compromise on the items that were outrageously ridiculous. They took a bit to discuss amongst themselves and came back with partially compromise. I was encouraged by the owner to end the match...and with a heavy heart, I did...at the beginning of May! At the end, I was defensive to everything they said/requested and it was just a rough situation...the owner didn't want me in an unhealthy surrogacy situation.
We finally had our match call on Dec. 3rd. (G was out of state again for work from the end of Oct. until right before Christmas.) We had a good, long call and answered question, confirmed previous agreements, and made new agreements...all leading up to what I assumed would be a match. After the very long call...G and I agreed that we liked them...although they were very difficult and demanding (we weren't looking at their personalities... we liked them as people and wanted to help them reach their dreams of a family.) We notified our SCM (surrogacy case manager) of our intent to match. :) We discovered that even after the 6 weeks of answering questions...waiting patiently for them to be comfortable to set a call...and after the long call. They still weren't ready to commit to a match....without meeting us in person. With G being gone and the holidays approaching, I knew that a meeting wouldn't happen right away.They wanted to wait until the beginning of the year,. 2015. I told the agency to keep my profile active and continue to look for other IPs for me. I didn't want to be on hold, in limbo. When they learned that I was still active, they quickly decided to meet as soon as G got home. We meet in person on Saturday, Dec. 20th. Although there was nothing new to go over...the meeting went well and we all decided to officially match! :)
At WCS, IPs (intended parents) are shown my profile and when one thinks that I am a good fit to be their surrogate, I am then shown their profile. If I agree, we are then scheduled a match call (a conference call that includes the IPs, G and myself, as well as our agency case manager- the person from the agency who will remain our liaison throughout the course of our surrogacy journey, who is or was a surrogate herself.) Pretty quickly (w/in about a month) I had a potential match. I had a match call set, and had been in contact with my case manager. However, on the day of the call, I received a call from the agencies IP coordinator. I was informed that late the night before my potential IPs had emailed him and informed him that they had been in touch with a doctor who had provided them with a second opinion...which was that that doctor felt that the IM (intended mother) could possibly be able to carry a pregnancy on her own, after all. They had an appt set to meet with that doc in two weeks. They didn't feel that it would be fair to me to do the match call...match, then cancel the match if she could carry. So, the call was canceled. :( After that, I frequently checked in with the IP coordinator and learned that many IPs were turned off to the fact that I was IF and had done ivf. Which to me (and him) was so odd, especially bc ivf or fet are how pregnancy is achieved in surrogacy. To us, my successful ivf history was a positive thing. Unfortunately many IPs, who possibly didn't understand fully, simply didn't agree. So, it took a little longer for me to find another potential match. By mid October, the coordinator, began talking to me about a potential local couple who loved my profile. I received their profile near the end of October and agreed to move forward with them to see if we'd be a good match. These IPs were very different and more demanding than most (I was told...and became aware of on my own.)They were both lawyers (which can give you an idea of their personalities.) They had a ton of questions they wanted answered before they would even agree to a match call (which isn't too common)....but the most unusual thing (and completely unheard of by the agency) was that they wanted to review 5 years of past medical history...not just pregnancy and birth...but ALL my medical history for the past 5 years!!! It took awhile for me to get all my urgent cares (as I don't see a primary care doc) to get the records to the agency. Then it took nearly 6 weeks for the IPs to review everything. (They took their time.) Before They finally decided that they were comfortable to move forward and set the match call.
Being IF and knowing the pain and despair of not being able to have your dreams of having a child/family come true....I have for many years had it in my heart to "pay it forward" (my good blessings of becoming a mother through the miracle of ivf) and to help another couple realize their dreams of having a child/family. So, last summer I began my journey into becoming a GS/GC!! (Gestational Surrogate/Carrier. I would be using my womb to carry someone else's embryo/s...no genetic link to me.) G and I had talked off and on over the course of our marriage about me doing surrogacy. It was always something we felt drawn to do..."when the time was right." I had always thought that I'd look into it when both kids were in school full time. However, this past summer we had a friend living with us (as a way of helping him get onto his feet after unexpectedly getting out of the military.) He actually was the one that lite the surrogacy fire in us. He was home full time, and a tremendous help to me with the kids. He encouraged us to look into surrogacy now, opposed to waiting...he would help with household and childcare chores...and my age was nearly at the cutoff mark for most agencies. (I am 34 now, most have a 35 or 38 year old cutoff.) So, with G's approval, I began researching online for local surrogacy agencies. (It was my desire to find a couple who was local, so they could be actively involved in the pregnancy and birth of their child/ren.) I emailed and/or called a handful, before I narrowed it down to my top 2 picks. I did applications for both and spoke to representatives at both. In the end, I preferred one over the other (based on their "customer service.") So, in August, I signed up with that agency, WCS (West Coast Surrogacy and Egg Donation.)
Monday, June 8, 2015
Is anyone still out there...reading this? It has been FOREVER since I've posted! 2 years!! I'm so sorry! Life has been crazy and busy! Some updates: Kiwi just finished her first year of school..Kindergarten! She'll be 6 years old next month!! Bubba occasionally goes to "preschool". He just started participating in a homeschool pe program as well...he enjoys that :)He is 3 1/2 years old! G and I are doing well...celebrated 8 years of wedded bliss this past April. (We went on an amazing cruise in March. Just the 2 of us! It was wonderful!) We've been in "new" home for 2 years now and are loving it!! The neighborhood is great...I love the elementary school. This move has really been a blessing! I'l make another post later with some other new adventures we're taking on. :)