Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Parenting, PAIL April monthly theme post

Hello all, I hope everyone had a great Easter. We had a wonderful day. We attended church for the first time as a family, and we all loved it! We then went to a minor league baseball game followed by an egg hunt on the field. We came home and did our own egg hunt, then went out to dinner.

PAIL monthly theme post this month is on parenting. What our parenting style is. I don't really think I have a style. I just do the best I can and hope/pray for the best. LOL. I am an easy going, go with the flow, push over, kind of Mom. I give in way too much, punish way too little. I believe that you should pick your battles. To me there is no reason to have a fight with my toddler over something small or that doesn't matter. (ex. if she wants to bring a toy in the car with us that is a "home" toy and I say no, I'll give in if she throws a fit bc in the end, her bringing the toy is not hurting anything, it would make her happy.) However, if it is something major, or would cause danger, I am firm! I always thought I'd be a "time out" Mom. However, the few times I've attempted to put Kiwi in time out have turned into disasters. I had to sit and physically hold her in place the last time I tried. All the other times, she just thinks it's a game. Even going as far as when playing asking me if she can go to time out, or acting out time out with her toys. LOL. I believe in open handed spanking on the bottom. However, I rarely do it. (I'll admit that I have been doing much more spanking since Bubba came. I don't know if I am just less patient, or if she is more naughty. I think a little of both, honestly. She just gets into everything now that I am not hovering over her. I've found her in the dishwasher, sitting in the freezer (we have a bottom pull out freezer), kitchen sink with he faucet on and on every counter top in the house.

G has accused me (as he thinks that it is a bad thing) of being a "helicopter parent." Because I always hover over Kiwi. He has also claimed that I spoiled her by holding her too much and cuddling her too much as a baby. I firmly believe that you can not spiol a baby by holding and giving love to them!!

I will admit, prior to having Bubba (as seriously, who has time to do it with an infant on your boob or hip,) that I was always hovering over Kiwi. However, I believe that bc of my constant "hovering" (playing with, reading to her) she is as smart as she is. She started talking at 9 months and was saying 3 word sentences/phrases before she was a year old! I feel extremely guilty now, since I have Bubba to care for....constantly, bc I can't give her all I feel she needs. I feel awful that she spends time watching tv (all educational shows) or movies so much now, instead of having me playing with her or reading to her constantly. She honestly doesn't seem to mind, as she is much more independent now. (She even asks me to leave so she can play alone. LOL.)

I never used a set schedule with feeding or bedtime with Kiwi, and I still don't with Bubba. I BF her, and do now with him. I feed on demand, and never enforced a nap for Kiwi (now Bubba) while she was a baby. I NEVER let her CIO (cry it out,) much to G's dismay. Both my kids were/are nursed to sleep. Which, was very difficult when Kiwi suddenly decided at 12.5 months that she was done with nursing. At that time, I finally gave in and bought a book (the sleep lady) to help teach me how to sleep train Kiwi. I ended up (with the help of the book) having to have her CIO a little in order to teach her to go to bed. I also set a bedtime (as before she would Be up until well after midnight with me.) We bath her between 8 and 8:30 pm, then it is book and bedtime. Sometimes she still crys (especially when she only wants me and not G.) I have Bubba on that same bedtime schedule now too. Makes it easier, as they share a wall. I get up at the slightest sound (fuss) from Bubba. I nurse him back to sleep. I just don't want Kiwi to wake up, and have both of them to put back to bed.

Kiwi was never much of a napper. When sleep training her (at 13 months) I finally decided that she needed a nap, or quite time at least. I would put her to bed between 3 and 3:30 every afternoon for "naptime" for 2 hours. When she was in her crib, she'd cry, but usually fall asleep at some point. When we upgraded her to her big girl (full size) bed this past Sept. (she was just over 2 yrs) she would rarely sleep. I needed the break though, as I was very pregnant with Bubba. I would lay her on her bed and give her a "naptime" with her door closed. She cried, threw fits, but eventually she'd play. "Naptime" ended when Bubba was born..... oh how I miss it. LOL.

So, basically, like I said, I'm a push over as a parent. But I love my kids and they really are great. (Kiwi is a very difficult, needy, stubborn child. Thankfully Bubba seems to be more mellow.)Where I am a hands on, laid back, raise my own children, push over Mama....G is the exact opposite. He is a strict, sit back and relax and let the kids raise themselves, quick to spank (and frequently does) kind of Daddy. So, our house is very interesting at times. LOL.


  1. Kiwi and Bubba are just adorable! Very interesting about how you and G are opposite - definitely makes for an interesting household!

  2. I love how you went (at the beginning of this post) from "I just do the best I can and hope/pray for the best" to "I'm a push over as a parent" at the end. Hubby and I are quite different in our parenting approaches, too. Certainly makes for an interesting household, doesn't it?!

  3. Hey, it's all about balance. :) You gotta find what works for you and your kids. My husband and I are totally different, and I think it's good.

  4. Another PAIL blogger had a book tip for strong willed children: You Can't Make Me (But I Can Be Persuaded) by Cynthia Tobias. It sounds like you're happy with your parenting, which is great.