Matching!

We finally had our match call on Dec. 3rd. (G was out of state again for work from the end of Oct. until right before Christmas.) We had a good, long call and answered question, confirmed previous agreements, and made new agreements...all leading up to what I assumed would be a match. After the very long call...G and I agreed that we liked them...although they were very difficult and demanding (we weren't looking at their personalities... we liked them as people and wanted to help them reach their dreams of a family.) We notified our SCM (surrogacy case manager) of our intent to match. :) We discovered that even after the 6 weeks of answering questions...waiting patiently for them to be comfortable to set a call...and after the long call. They still weren't ready to commit to a match....without meeting us in person. With G being gone and the holidays approaching, I knew that a meeting wouldn't happen right away.They wanted to wait until the beginning of the year,. 2015. I told the agency to keep my profile active and continue to look for other IPs for me. I didn't want to be on hold, in limbo. When they learned that I was still active, they quickly decided to meet as soon as G got home. We meet in person on Saturday, Dec. 20th. Although there was nothing new to go over...the meeting went well and we all decided to officially match! :)

My Surrogacy Journey Begins

At WCS, IPs (intended parents) are shown my profile and when one thinks that I am a good fit to be their surrogate, I am then shown their profile. If I agree, we are then scheduled a match call (a conference call that includes the IPs, G and myself, as well as our agency case manager- the person from the agency who will remain our liaison throughout the course of our surrogacy journey, who is or was a surrogate herself.) Pretty quickly (w/in about a month) I had a potential match. I had a match call set, and had been in contact with my case manager. However, on the day of the call, I received a call from the agencies IP coordinator. I was informed that late the night before my potential IPs had emailed him and informed him that they had been in touch with a doctor who had provided them with a second opinion...which was that that doctor felt that the IM (intended mother) could possibly be able to carry a pregnancy on her own, after all. They had an appt set to meet with that doc in two weeks. They didn't feel that it would be fair to me to do the match call...match, then cancel the match if she could carry. So, the call was canceled. :( After that, I frequently checked in with the IP coordinator and learned that many IPs were turned off to the fact that I was IF and had done ivf. Which to me (and him) was so odd, especially bc ivf or fet are how pregnancy is achieved in surrogacy. To us, my successful ivf history was a positive thing. Unfortunately many IPs, who possibly didn't understand fully, simply didn't agree. So, it took a little longer for me to find another potential match. By mid October, the coordinator, began talking to me about a potential local couple who loved my profile. I received their profile near the end of October and agreed to move forward with them to see if we'd be a good match. These IPs were very different and more demanding than most (I was told...and became aware of on my own.)They were both lawyers (which can give you an idea of their personalities.) They had a ton of questions they wanted answered before they would even agree to a match call (which isn't too common)....but the most unusual thing (and completely unheard of by the agency) was that they wanted to review 5 years of past medical history...not just pregnancy and birth...but ALL my medical history for the past 5 years!!! It took awhile for me to get all my urgent cares (as I don't see a primary care doc) to get the records to the agency. Then it took nearly 6 weeks for the IPs to review everything. (They took their time.) Before They finally decided that they were comfortable to move forward and set the match call.

New adventures!!

Being IF and knowing the pain and despair of not being able to have your dreams of having a child/family come true....I have for many years had it in my heart to "pay it forward" (my good blessings of becoming a mother through the miracle of ivf) and to help another couple realize their dreams of having a child/family. So, last summer I began my journey into becoming a GS/GC!! (Gestational Surrogate/Carrier. I would be using my womb to carry someone else's embryo/s...no genetic link to me.) G and I had talked off and on over the course of our marriage about me doing surrogacy. It was always something we felt drawn to do..."when the time was right." I had always thought that I'd look into it when both kids were in school full time. However, this past summer we had a friend living with us (as a way of helping him get onto his feet after unexpectedly getting out of the military.) He actually was the one that lite the surrogacy fire in us. He was home full time, and a tremendous help to me with the kids. He encouraged us to look into surrogacy now, opposed to waiting...he would help with household and childcare chores...and my age was nearly at the cutoff mark for most agencies. (I am 34 now, most have a 35 or 38 year old cutoff.) So, with G's approval, I began researching online for local surrogacy agencies. (It was my desire to find a couple who was local, so they could be actively involved in the pregnancy and birth of their child/ren.) I emailed and/or called a handful, before I narrowed it down to my top 2 picks. I did applications for both and spoke to representatives at both. In the end, I preferred one over the other (based on their "customer service.") So, in August, I signed up with that agency, WCS (West Coast Surrogacy and Egg Donation.)

Catching up...with a quick update!

Is anyone still out there...reading this? It has been FOREVER since I've posted! 2 years!! I'm so sorry! Life has been crazy and busy! Some updates: Kiwi just finished her first year of school..Kindergarten! She'll be 6 years old next month!! Bubba occasionally goes to "preschool". He just started participating in a homeschool pe program as well...he enjoys that :)He is 3 1/2 years old! G and I are doing well...celebrated 8 years of wedded bliss this past April. (We went on an amazing cruise in March. Just the 2 of us! It was wonderful!) We've been in "new" home for 2 years now and are loving it!! The neighborhood is great...I love the elementary school. This move has really been a blessing! I'l make another post later with some other new adventures we're taking on. :)

potty training hell!!

OMG, potty training a stubborn child SUCKS!! Kiwi was a year and 5 months old at Christmas, and she got her first potty and a training book. Since then,we started potty training her. We would take her every night before bath...and a handful of times she would go. Then, she had a complete aversion to the potty. She would throw a fit, scream,kick...and refuse to even sit on the potty. None the less, she would still be put on it every night before bath. When I was pregnant with Bubba I became serious about training. Put her in panties all day...for two days...then I gave up. She wasn't ready! She didn't care that she had wet or soiled herself, she kept on playing. I had taken her to the potty every 15 minutes, and she never went in the potty. It was frustrating for me and her. So, I gave it time. Talked to her docs and everybody else. (Literally, everyone had input....even the negative haters, who claimed that I was an awful mother bc my almost 3 yr old wasn't potty trained.) I listened to the advice of my daughter's docs, which was that I should only do positive encouragement...no negativity at all about potty training.... and eventually they told me to not even mention training. They said she is just stubborn. So, despite the evil words being said about me, my parenting abilities and my daughter herself. I didn't force nor punish my daughter into training. When G left, Kiwi promised him she'd be potty trained before he got back home. G comes home in 2 days!!!! So, with his return quickly approaching, her 4th b-day just passing, and a 2 week break in preschool schedule....I decided the time was right!!! It is HELL!! I take her every hour from the time she wakes up, till she goes to bed. She is only in panties during her waking hours and diapers at bed. (I had to lie and tell her that the stores won't sell me diapers for her anymore bc she's now 4 and they can't sell to 4 yr olds...bc my too smart little girl says she"only wants diapers" and when told that all of her friends are in big kid underwear she says "Mommy, I don''t want to be like everyone else.")She has not actually gone (not potty/urine nor poop) on the potty for me at all!! She has gone poop (she had started in her panties and said something, so she was rushed to the toilet where she finished going) on the potty once and potty/pee once for the babysitter. (I had errands to run in preparation for Kiwi's 4th b-day party and G's return home.)However, those victories were on Monday and Tuesday and today is now Thursday and there has been no other successes!!She simply just goes in her panties and keeps on playing w/o a single care or thought. She doesn't say when she has to go. I'm beyond frustrated!! However, I refuse to lash out negatively. (In desperation, at the advice of my bff, I spanked her twice today after two times when she had wet herself w/o telling me she had to go. I felt like since the positive rewards system of getting something for going on the potty wasn't working....maybe the consequence system of spankings would....but, that didn't work, and I felt awful.) This sucks!!!! She is still refusing to sit on the potty and simply isn't even telling me when she has to go...does she even get that she has to go???? ARRGGHH!!!!!

are we there yet???

no, I'm not traveling....I'm just wondering are we there (August) yet? I'm exhausted!!!!!! It hasn't even been a month since the dark, wee hours on mother's day when G left.....but it feels like forever!!! I have no patience, a constant headache and my give a damn is busted!! Two kids under four, who seem to be constantly screaming....is EXHAUSTING!!! Add to that the fact that I'm moving (in less than two weeks) and have to pack by myself.....while entertaining two kids!!! Needless to say, its been rough these passed three weeks. (even more so since the three of us each got the flu!! I had it so bad I couldn't get out of bed and had to get an IV & two bags of fluids!!!) Maybe I can take a vacation when G gets home!!! (a girl can dream, right?? Lol)

Change

The only thing constant in life, is change! We certainly have changes going on in our life. First, let me just say that we had an amazing trip to FL!! I have been blessed with such wonderful parents, who are so incredibly selfless, that they'd take us 4 on a "kids" vacation instead of going somewhere for them! I was so shocked at how well both kids did on the long (cross country) flights! I was mentally prepared for tantrums and fits....but there was none! Bubba had some fussiness on the return flight, but other than that...perfect angles! It was so great to get away and have some fun! Now, for the changes............ The beginning of the week we left for FL we finally heard some news on the house (the one we had received an accepted offer from the seller's on March 6.) The bank had approved the short sale on the second mortgage! YAY! Then, the day before we left for our trip, we got more news. The bank had decided, after dragging their feet taking 6 weeks to make their decision, that the houses value had gone up $40,000 and therefore they were rejecting our offer!!! OMG! Seriously!?!? Unfortunately the market did go up....and we couldn't afford any house now at all!! So, G and I decided that we LOVE the house, we LOVE the neighborhood, and we LOVE the schools....so we upped our offer by $20,000 (raising our would be mortgage payment $100 a month) and then we waited! We were told it could take 14-21 days for a decision. It took, literally, 21 days.....and today, we found out that the bank has accepted our new offer!!!!! We are hoping to start the escrow process Monday. BUT, that isn't the biggest change happening around here!! This past Tues. (the 7th, two days ago) G called me in the morning and told me that he had some news regarding his job! He said he had two choices.... 1) He could be laid off immediately (he is a contractor, and the aircraft he was supposed to be working on has not shown up) OR 2.) He could catch a plane on Thursday (the 9th...today) for VA, where he would have work until August. So, he had a 48 hour notice that he would lose his job, or have to move to VA for 4 months!! Of coarse, we choose VA. Thankfully his boss was able to push his departure back to Sunday. G has been off work spending time with the kids and I since Weds. It is going to be so incredibly tough to have him gone for 4 months............to be alone every day with two kids. (Having the extra eyes, hands, arms, etc. is so nice.) Now, I have to pack up an entire house and move (all while taking care of two little ones) by myself too!!!!! G is hoping to come out for a weekend in July, for Kiwi's b-day and bc we have Kenny Chesney concert tix. It really sucks!! Especially bc I had bought G tix to see Jeff Dunham for his b-day, and now we can't go........Kiwi has a dance recital in June and G and her were going to be part of the father/daughter dance (which I paid $75 for them to be in, non refundable) and now I had to beg my dad to do it with her!!!! This sucks!!!!!