potty training hell!!

OMG, potty training a stubborn child SUCKS!! Kiwi was a year and 5 months old at Christmas, and she got her first potty and a training book. Since then,we started potty training her. We would take her every night before bath...and a handful of times she would go. Then, she had a complete aversion to the potty. She would throw a fit, scream,kick...and refuse to even sit on the potty. None the less, she would still be put on it every night before bath. When I was pregnant with Bubba I became serious about training. Put her in panties all day...for two days...then I gave up. She wasn't ready! She didn't care that she had wet or soiled herself, she kept on playing. I had taken her to the potty every 15 minutes, and she never went in the potty. It was frustrating for me and her. So, I gave it time. Talked to her docs and everybody else. (Literally, everyone had input....even the negative haters, who claimed that I was an awful mother bc my almost 3 yr old wasn't potty trained.) I listened to the advice of my daughter's docs, which was that I should only do positive encouragement...no negativity at all about potty training.... and eventually they told me to not even mention training. They said she is just stubborn. So, despite the evil words being said about me, my parenting abilities and my daughter herself. I didn't force nor punish my daughter into training. When G left, Kiwi promised him she'd be potty trained before he got back home. G comes home in 2 days!!!! So, with his return quickly approaching, her 4th b-day just passing, and a 2 week break in preschool schedule....I decided the time was right!!! It is HELL!! I take her every hour from the time she wakes up, till she goes to bed. She is only in panties during her waking hours and diapers at bed. (I had to lie and tell her that the stores won't sell me diapers for her anymore bc she's now 4 and they can't sell to 4 yr olds...bc my too smart little girl says she"only wants diapers" and when told that all of her friends are in big kid underwear she says "Mommy, I don''t want to be like everyone else.")She has not actually gone (not potty/urine nor poop) on the potty for me at all!! She has gone poop (she had started in her panties and said something, so she was rushed to the toilet where she finished going) on the potty once and potty/pee once for the babysitter. (I had errands to run in preparation for Kiwi's 4th b-day party and G's return home.)However, those victories were on Monday and Tuesday and today is now Thursday and there has been no other successes!!She simply just goes in her panties and keeps on playing w/o a single care or thought. She doesn't say when she has to go. I'm beyond frustrated!! However, I refuse to lash out negatively. (In desperation, at the advice of my bff, I spanked her twice today after two times when she had wet herself w/o telling me she had to go. I felt like since the positive rewards system of getting something for going on the potty wasn't working....maybe the consequence system of spankings would....but, that didn't work, and I felt awful.) This sucks!!!! She is still refusing to sit on the potty and simply isn't even telling me when she has to go...does she even get that she has to go???? ARRGGHH!!!!!

are we there yet???

no, I'm not traveling....I'm just wondering are we there (August) yet? I'm exhausted!!!!!! It hasn't even been a month since the dark, wee hours on mother's day when G left.....but it feels like forever!!! I have no patience, a constant headache and my give a damn is busted!! Two kids under four, who seem to be constantly screaming....is EXHAUSTING!!! Add to that the fact that I'm moving (in less than two weeks) and have to pack by myself.....while entertaining two kids!!! Needless to say, its been rough these passed three weeks. (even more so since the three of us each got the flu!! I had it so bad I couldn't get out of bed and had to get an IV & two bags of fluids!!!) Maybe I can take a vacation when G gets home!!! (a girl can dream, right?? Lol)

Change

The only thing constant in life, is change! We certainly have changes going on in our life. First, let me just say that we had an amazing trip to FL!! I have been blessed with such wonderful parents, who are so incredibly selfless, that they'd take us 4 on a "kids" vacation instead of going somewhere for them! I was so shocked at how well both kids did on the long (cross country) flights! I was mentally prepared for tantrums and fits....but there was none! Bubba had some fussiness on the return flight, but other than that...perfect angles! It was so great to get away and have some fun! Now, for the changes............ The beginning of the week we left for FL we finally heard some news on the house (the one we had received an accepted offer from the seller's on March 6.) The bank had approved the short sale on the second mortgage! YAY! Then, the day before we left for our trip, we got more news. The bank had decided, after dragging their feet taking 6 weeks to make their decision, that the houses value had gone up $40,000 and therefore they were rejecting our offer!!! OMG! Seriously!?!? Unfortunately the market did go up....and we couldn't afford any house now at all!! So, G and I decided that we LOVE the house, we LOVE the neighborhood, and we LOVE the schools....so we upped our offer by $20,000 (raising our would be mortgage payment $100 a month) and then we waited! We were told it could take 14-21 days for a decision. It took, literally, 21 days.....and today, we found out that the bank has accepted our new offer!!!!! We are hoping to start the escrow process Monday. BUT, that isn't the biggest change happening around here!! This past Tues. (the 7th, two days ago) G called me in the morning and told me that he had some news regarding his job! He said he had two choices.... 1) He could be laid off immediately (he is a contractor, and the aircraft he was supposed to be working on has not shown up) OR 2.) He could catch a plane on Thursday (the 9th...today) for VA, where he would have work until August. So, he had a 48 hour notice that he would lose his job, or have to move to VA for 4 months!! Of coarse, we choose VA. Thankfully his boss was able to push his departure back to Sunday. G has been off work spending time with the kids and I since Weds. It is going to be so incredibly tough to have him gone for 4 months............to be alone every day with two kids. (Having the extra eyes, hands, arms, etc. is so nice.) Now, I have to pack up an entire house and move (all while taking care of two little ones) by myself too!!!!! G is hoping to come out for a weekend in July, for Kiwi's b-day and bc we have Kenny Chesney concert tix. It really sucks!! Especially bc I had bought G tix to see Jeff Dunham for his b-day, and now we can't go........Kiwi has a dance recital in June and G and her were going to be part of the father/daughter dance (which I paid $75 for them to be in, non refundable) and now I had to beg my dad to do it with her!!!! This sucks!!!!!

Love is love!!! Equality now!!

As a human, I support!!!!!! We need a country that supports as well!! Equality is needed NOW!! I support equality and gay marriage because it is the RIGHT thing to do!! I am Christian and believe in the Golden Rule (do unto others what you would have done unto you!!) I am also a proud sister of a gay man!! Most important....I am a mother!! I want this world to be the best world possible for my children to grow up in, become adults in, start and raise their families in!! In order to have that, equality MUST happen!! My kids are young, they don't know at this point what gender they are attracted to.... they may be straight, or gay. I honestly don't care!!!!!!! BUT, if they are gay, then I certainly want them to live a full life.... one that any of their straight peers (and any other straight person) gets to enjoy! I would HATE for either Kiwi or Bubba to not be able to legally marry the person they love!!! That is disgusting!!! LOVE IS LOVE!! As a straight person, did you wake up one day and choose to feel attracted to someone of the opposite gender? Was it a conscience choose? Where your feelings for both genders equal, and you simply choose the opposite sex???? OR (most likely) did you truly feel attracted to only one gender????? That is the truth here, you didn't choose to be attracted to the opposite gender........just as a gay person didn't choose to be attracted to the same sex!!!! WAKE UP!!!! EQUALITY NOW!!!

Home is where the heart is....

So, G and I decided that it was time to start looking for a new home. A home we pick out together (as the one we currently live in is the one I've owned since before we were together,) a larger home...... and my MUST have, a home where the kids rooms DON'T share a wall!!! OMGoodness, I haven't slept in 15 months!! There is no using any form of CIO with Bubba bc Kiwi hears his slightest whimper, and wakes up too. Then I am a Mommy ping pong ball between the two rooms! Both my parents and my best friend and her family recently moved. Seeing their new digs inspired us! :) We made a list of must haves and started researching online. (Well, I researched.) The only way to get Bubba to nap, if Kiwi is home, is to drive him around. So, I would drive daily, for hours!! Not good for the body, or gas...but it was good in terms of scouting out potential neighborhoods. We literally spent 3 weeks in our car, driving. Looking at the outside of homes, seeing open houses (where we met our Realtor) and eventually touring houses with our Realtor. We saw many, many houses. We made offers on many....but with this economy, and using a VA loan, we weren't lucky. UNTIL, we saw THE house, our house home, the home we want to raise our kids in!! We toured it March 4th and submitted an offer. The next day we had to resubmit...but were hoping for good news, especially bc it was G's b-day! We got the official approval on the 6th!!! The Seller accepted our offer!!! Now for the waiting game. The home is being sold as a short sale. So, our offer now must be approved by the bank that has the seller's mortgages. If the bank is willing to accept our offer, in lieu of what the seller owes on the home, then we are moving in!!! Short sales are infamous for taking a long time. Our lender told us that the shortest he's ever seen a bank approve has been 30 days, then after the approval escrow (30-45 days) would start. So, we're hoping for an early May move in!!! However, we've been told to expect more of a June or possibly even July move in. We're super excited!! The home is beautiful in a great neighborhood with a park the next street over. It is at the end of a cul-da-sac with no home to the left (when looking at the home from the street) nor behind. The kids rooms are huge....and on opposite sides of a GIANT playroom!!! It has a large backyard perfect for the dogs and kids to play in. It has the formal dinning room I wanted and an office downstairs! But, the best part about this house is the school district! It is rated one of the best in the state! The elementary school is rated a 9 out of 10!!! Please pray that everything goes smoothly and that the bank approves the sell, and that everything is done in a timely manner.

Exciting new adventures!!! (Update on Elle, as well)

Hello all!! Hope that you are all well and that this beautiful weather we are having here in CA is also where ever you call home! It is amazing outside!!!! This spring and summer are bringing some new adventures for us here at Mommyfromivf. :) No, I'm not pregnant...nor do I ever wish to be again! LOL. Our family is complete!! Next month, my wonderful parents (seriously, how did I get so blessed?) are taking G, the kids and I on an amazing adventure..... FL!! Yes, we are jumping to the other coast for an 8 day adventure! Of course we'll see Disney World, Universal Orlando (I'm soooooooo looking forward to Harry Potter there)and anything else that my parents have planed for us. G and I will be celebrating 6 years of marriage (on an airplane) the day we come home from FL! Hoping that we can get a romantic dinner in during our trip! 6 years!! Hard to believe that we've been married for that long....especially w/ all the negativity and drama from his "family". But, we've done it! (Lasted longer than my first marriage....and (just to twist the knife...and for some payback,) longer than SIL's marriage. (Always feels good to be able to say "I told you so". LOL.) The other BIG thing happening for us, some time w/in (hopefully) the next 60 days and July.....we are expanding our surroundings!! (So, lame that I can't write exactly what is happening, but G (on his own...I was very shocked when he told me) has made the decision to not tell his family bc he doesn't want the drama that will come with something good happening to us, and bc none of them are a part of our lives...and I know that they read this still.) MOVEing on....LOL!! I'll tell you more once the news has been broken (on fb I'm sure.)But, it's big (and beautiful.LOL)!!!! I also received an amazing update from Elle (the women who adopted our embryos.)After the failed FET, her and her hubby had decided to move onto domestic infant adoption. She emailed me yesterday and told me that they have been chosen by a birthmother!!!! Their baby is due Sept. 9th!!!! As if that wasn't amazing enough.... they have also been matched with an embryo placing family on MW...and have adopted 2 embryos!!!!! So happy for Elle!!!! So glad everyone is doing well and we are all MOVEing onto new and exciting adventures!:) Happy spring everyone!!!

first steps .....

Bubba first crawled while at my parents house visiting with my brother, who was out from London for his birthday. (this was in September, Bubba was 9M.) So, it would be only fitting that Bubba should walk for the first time while my brother, uncle B, was out visiting for the holidays and my sister's wedding. That is exactly what happened!! Until January 10th, Bubba had only cruised or taken one or two steps before falling. Well, after the drive to Vegas (where my sis got married), we put Bubba down in the living room of the rented house. He stood up and walked 9 steps straight to my brother!! He hasn't stopped walking since. He walls all over the house, one room into the next. :) hard to believe that just a few weeks ago he wasn't waking at all. He is also such the talker now. He still won't say "mama", lol. But, he says "thank you" like a pro. It is adorable bc he'll even say it w/o being prompted to. I hand him something, or he hands something to me, and he'll say it! He now says "I love you" sometimes. He likes to scream "daddy" all the time too. (copying kiwi.) He imitates us all the time. He's just such a big boy now.